Why Skipping Myspace And Going Straight To Facebook Ruined My Life

Facebook connects over a billion people, which is mind blowing because it's only nine years old.  Myspace, on the other hand, is ten years old and connects about 50 people who refuse to switch to Facebook.  Oh, and there's Friendster, which connects nobody at all.  It's these drastic differences that made me join Facebook first, well, not really, I was one of those kids, back in high school, who was coaxed into joining Facebook.  Yes, I did have the option of joining Myspace at the time, but people convinced me to join Facebook, so I skipped the bunny social network and went straight to the black diamond.

I should have tried Myface first, the only offline social network.

The League

The first time I logged on, it started asking all this personal information that I didn't feel comfortable sharing with anyone, like name and birthday.  All I kept thinking was, "This could very well be the most elaborate and public identity theft system in the world."  But I kept on.  When I finally finished registration, I sat there, no friends, no games (actually, I'm not sure if games were on there yet), no nothing.  I refused to add any friends on my own, so it's a wonder I got any.

The first friends I got treated me like an autistic cat, politely showing me how to do things and leading me in the right direction.  "Well, this is how you scroll through the homepage.  And here's your wall.  Do you know what a wall is?  Okay, that's enough for today, we don't want to overload you.  Go do your puzzle."

"I not sure how use the Facebook?"

It was a lot less complicated back then because there weren't any timelines, chat bars, or games; it was a simple place to sit and do nothing, at least that's how I saw it since I had no friends.  The no friends part hit me hard.  So many people asked me to join, where were they now?  They must have been bullshitting me when claiming everybody wants me on there, but then I realized that nobody knew I was on there because of the whole not adding friends thing.  I stuck to my guns with the no adding friends system, something I still mostly follow today.

So, you may be asking yourself by now, "Is he ever going to get to the main point of this post?"  Calm down, I had to give you an introduction, albeit a long one.  How did skipping Myspace ruin my life?

The first two weeks of Facebook time were spent clicking "refresh" to see if I had made any new friends...I had not.  The thing about joining Myspace first is that those people had friends to transfer over to Facebook, I was starting fresh.  I think that the few people who did add me, did it out of pity, again, even an autistic cat needs friends.

"Nobody love me."

So my pity friends were like, "Oh, it's good to see you finally joined a social network, loser."  My ignorant mind thought that's how social networking worked, insulting people, which, had I joined Myspace first, I would have realized was false.  So, as a new guy trying to fit in, I replied with, "Thanks!  It's nice being part of a group, asshole."  As you can well imagine, that didn't go over well and I got pegged with insults from all directions, even from people I didn't know who friended me just to call me vulgarities.  Facebook was rough back in '07...all because I didn't carry over some friendly comrades from Myspace.

I posted messages on my own wall, similar to this guy calling himself.
Unsimilar to me, he's not wearing a shirt, I never wore pants.

Stock Free Images

To go along with the nonstop verbal abuse, everybody would talk about how Myspace was so much easier to use than Facebook and how you could customize everything.  While they complained about that, I sat there by myself, thinking about how Facebook isn't that bad, once you get past the hatred and loneliness.  I had a lacking sense of nostalgia.

Basically, skipping Myspace brought nothing but despair.  I sat on Facebook, friendless and insulted, for weeks while everybody else chatted and posted about how great their lives were.  What a depressing life.  What sucks even more is that I joined Myspace to try and get into the Myspace crowd, but by the time I got to Myspace, everybody left for Facebook.  I sat there, unpopular with a sense of self loathing, on two social networks.  A total failure on my part to start up my internet lifestyle.

"I no good at doin' stuff."

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