Why Dishonored Is A Terrible Game

Dishonored is the revolutionary game made by the same people who brought you Skyrim. It, in an extremely basic sense, is you, Corvo, are an assassin framed for a murder and must work through elaborate settings to reach the ultimate goal of clearing your name. The game is praised for its open world-like levels that allow for alternate routes and unlimited distractibility, as well as the numerous ways to finish the game. What makes it so incredible and offers amazing replay value comes in the fact that you can either run through the level with guns blazing or, even more fun, use your assassin skills to sneak through without ever being detected and killing no enemies.

You feel just as badass as this looks.

Now that you have an idea of what the game is, here's why I'm absolutely terrible at it. There may be some spoilers. You have been warned.

Alternate routes? Not happening.

Being a master assassin, you are expected to take alternate routes so you avoid confrontation and act like what an assassin should be, a murdering shadow in the night. The problem comes in when I play the game. Unlike their plan for players to stay in the shadows, I run in like a madman, shooting the shit out of everything.

I have no regret doing this.

It's easy to appreciate the irony of this when you listen to the guards talking about how there's a professional assassin lurking around, only to be greeted by me, shooting my gun and flaunting my assassin superpowers. Seeing the surprise on their faces when they see me is priceless and totally worth being shot by ten men and a rocket-launching tower.

Patience: The virtue I lack

Patience is the key to success while playing. How they planned on people playing: Find a ledge to perch on like Batman, carefully observe the guard's paths and picking the right moment to strike or sneak past.

How it should be done.

How I play: Find a ledge to perch on like The Hulk, watch until a guard turns his back and run in, like always, gun drawn trying to shoot the shit out of everyone. Another part to the patience, if you aren't going to observe the guard's routes, at least wait until they turn their back to you so you have the opportunity for a silent kill or knockout. But where's the fun in that? If their back is turned, how will they retaliate and call for backup?

How I do it.

Being distracted is a terrible, terrible thing

As Dishonored presents such grand-scaled world for a single level, including apartments to ransack and side levels to explore, it's easy to get distracted and forget about your main mission. Once you realize that many of the apartments can be entered, you, like me, may spend a good couple hours trying to break into each one just to see what treasure may rest behind the door.

What may possibly be the most distracting thing ever put in a video game is the robot-type heart you get to hold in order to help you find hidden "runes" and "bone charms." The thing about this heart is that it "tells you secrets" when you point it at another character, which is terrible for someone like me.

"I have a secret about this boat. You will spend an hour in it throughout the game.

When I first received the heart and discovered I could do that, I ran around my hotel and bar learning about everybody. It really doesn't get boring because the heart has something different to say for each person, example being, "The other maids don't really like her," or, "She has this job to provide for her child who is sick with the plague." After a good hour of pointing the heart at everything, inanimate objects included, I felt like I finally had a pretty good grasp on the secrets that this city held.

Oh yeah, while you are looking for new things to steal or point the heart at, watch your back for guards waiting to kill you. A little trick I learned very quickly.

Dialogue is not meant to be ignored

Each person in the game, with the exception of most of the guards, has unique dialogue that reveals important parts of the game, like safe combinations or alternate assassination techniques. A competent player would listen to these conversations and use the information to their advantage. I, on the other hand, would listen for about ten seconds and then shoot the shit out of them. That's when I realize that the maids probably know the combination of the safe I've been trying to crack for the last five minutes. Whatever, there are more maids...oh wait, I killed them too.

"The combination is seven-three-fi---"

Even though I never did listen to them, I have a great appreciation for the amount of dialogue in the game. The simple fact that citizens throughout the entire city, half of which you won't even find, have different dialogue is incredible.

Overall, this game is mind-blowing, no matter how bad I am. Any route you take to complete the mission will be a blast, no doubt about it. An added bonus is that you learn about yourself on your journey through the bleak, yet stunning, world of Dishonored.

Disagree? Did you play a different way than me? Comment below and let us know!

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