"Like" My Facebook Photo - My Quest To One Million "Likes"

Well, it was inevitable, a new Facebook fad has emerged for attention whores and basement dwellers to make friends, or get popular, same thing.  The new thing everybody is doing is posting pictures of, "Like this and this will happen or you will die."  A spin-off of those pictures are the, "One million 'Likes' and I will get to do this!"  Whether the activity is having sex or curing cancer (yes, curing cancer), so many people have the fallacy that "liking" a picture will get you places.  I would be willing to bet that there is some mental disorder related to trying to be the most popular person, or having the most popular picture, by creating something visually loud, deceitful, dramatic, and peer-approved.  Oh wait, isn't that the exact definition of histrionic personality disorder?

One nipple ring short from being the creepiest guy at Starbucks.

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So, with me being a bit slow to the party, I decided to make a picture and try to get a taste of what these people crave.  I had a million ideas racing through my head of what to make, but, like my prank call, this didn't turn out how it should have.  While most of these pictures have positive messages (see above examples), which is fine, I wanted mine to really pop out at people.  I wanted something that would scream, "Like this picture," and nobody could resist.  What draws people's attention more than anything?  Tragedy.  With my fantastical mind, I decided to make a picture depicting a sense of tragedy and guilt people into "liking" it.  This was funny to me, but nobody else. 

I thought my picture and message were crystal clear, if you don't like this, I will kill the kitten.  My only mistake was that I didn't show the means of execution quite clear enough.  I could picture the retorts everybody would have, "cats land on their feet dumbass."  Well, I don't take kindly to criticism that is given out of hate and ignorance, so I took another picture just to show how dead serious I was about killing the kitten.

I may have went a little overboard with the serial-killer look, but I made my point, didn't I?  You damn well better "like" that picture or else the kitten gets it.

You see, I most certainly will not get one million people to "like" the picture, even with the threats to kill a kitten, so how do other people with their, "Like this if you watch movies," campaigns expect to get any more "likes" than mine that involves murder?  The world of Facebook never fails to baffle me.  Everyday a new psychopath is born and we only fuel the fire.  That simple little "like" button to a dormant psychopath is like a brick to a sleeping tiger, one hit and the fire starts.

"Go ahead, throw the brick. I'll have you know
I can run up to 40 mph and jump up to 5 meters.

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In my field test, I am proud to say at the rate my picture got liked that it would take me approximately 57 years to reach one million "likes."  At the age of 79, I would have been stopped from murdering an innocent kitten.