The Best Drunk Girl Pictures

While looking through pictures for a post, I came across a large amount of hilarious drunk girl pictures. Some of them were just too funny to pass up, so without further adieu, enjoy.

You can tell by her face that this isn't the first time this has happened.

Why Birthdays Suck

Do you ever wonder why people celebrate their birthday? When you're young, birthdays represent another full year of life, and most importantly, the benefits of being a little bit older. But realistically, birthdays are one of the most reoccurring depressing days in any adult's life, whether they admit it or not. Don't think so? Let me prove it to you.

No Benefits
Some birthdays are significant in our society, like being 16 (legally able to drive), 18 (legally an adult), and 21 (legally able to ruin your life), but after that, there's generally nothing good. You can legally collect social security benefits at the age of 62, but let's face it, that will run out long before you and I reach that age.

After you're 21, you make your own benefits. Am I right??

4 Terrible Inventions

Every now and then, you can't help but wonder how some people get their ideas, and not only get ideas, but actually follow through with them. I know we're not the only ones who have seen certain products and thought, "There is something terribly wrong with our society." Here's a list of inventions that we don't need, realistically serve no purpose, or are just plain stupid.

4. Personal Stomach Pump
I saw this gem on a health site not too long ago and couldn't grasp the amount of stupidity involved. The Personal Stomach Pump is developed by Aspire Bariatrics and is a weight-loss device that sucks the food particles out of your stomach after you eat...basically through your chest. The sad thing is, it actually works, but the process looks like some kind of torture method used in those Hostel movies.

Be disgusted, be very disgusted.

To Our Pervert Readers

To our valued readers,

Recently I added an analytics viewer that gives me the ability to view "heat sensors" of each page, or where people click the most. This can be quite interesting and helpful to decide how to set up the blog and make any necessary changes to make it more user friendly, which is its intended purpose. Now to the problem. There is an article that I wrote titled "3 Awful Fundraisers" that included Girl Scout cookies as one of the fundraisers.

Click for uncensored.

Military Loses New Technology

A new press release from the army has created a buzz around the community of people who actually care about press releases concerning some of their new technological advances. They unveiled some of their recent prototypes to aid them in the war against terror, drugs, North Korea, gays, social change and Republicans.

"Here's a scaled-down model of what's to come."
© Jessersim | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

Sergeant Hammerfoe was quoted as saying, "These could be the most incredible things we've ever made. I'm giddy as a schoolgirl just thinking about them." Among the new technology he is "giddy as a schoolgirl" about include: new assault rifles, now featuring auto-aim; combat boots 2.0, complete with leather shoelaces and waterproof technology; helmets with extra-thick chinstraps; and, what they are most excited about, Superflage.

"Our new Superflage will make soldiers nearly invisible," said Hammerfoe, "Which is totally going to scare the shit out of our enemies when they finally see us." In their trial runs, soldiers in the Superflage tried passing security cameras and scaring children. Both were huge successes. The problem with the new Superflage? They lost it. It did its job so well that they lost the Goddamn stuff.

Their first test run was a monumental success.
© Jameswimsel | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

Scientist and Superflage specialist Gordon Humphrey said that, "We just dropped it and it, well, fucking disappeared. Even worse is that we wrapped the blueprints in Superflage to keep our enemies from mimicking us."

"When Johnson dropped it we were all dumbfounded. We lost the greatest camouflage ever made."

The military has scientists working around the clock searching the warehouse for the missing items, but sources say that it may be gone forever.

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3 Awful Fundraisers

Every youth club has a yearly fundraiser, it's inevitable. Whenever you see a parent come into work on their day off with their child, you know you're getting sucked into buying crappy knickknacks and food because you don't want to be the one jerk in the office that doesn't participate. Some of the classic fundraisers have phased out over the years, like the Catholic school sales, but others have withstood the test of time and have only gotten worse.

3. Girl Scout Cookies

The Girl Scout cookie season is like Christmas for everybody, even the non-religious people, because it only comes once a year and revolves around buying things and being selfish. Some people even start counting down until the day comes when they are asked to buy some, which is ridiculous. How do the Girl Scouts create such an addiction to their cookies, especially since, let's be honest here, there are better cookies out in the world? Only two possible explanations make sense; drugs and innocence. Let's start with the innocence portion. When little girls come up to you with hopeful eyes and a shy smile to ask you to buy cookies, you can't help but feel obligated to buy some; it's like they are looking up and asking you to save them from abuse if they don't sell enough.

"Oops, I dropped my cookies right in front of you.
Let me slooooowly bend over to pick them up. So, how many boxes are you buying?

4 Ways To Make The Disney Star Wars Movies Successful

We're all anxious to see how Disney will handle the new Star Wars movies, especially since no definitive storyline has been reported. A new edition to the franchise is planned for 2015 (Really? It takes THAT long?), and I hope these suggestions may show a better path towards success.

4. Girl Lead

I know it's basically tradition to have a male lead in these movies...Hell, pretty much all the characters are male except for a few supporting females. Although I'm a guy and am exceptionally biased towards my gender's superiority (I have no problem fighting women, and especially no problem fighting old people, bring it) I think it would do the franchise good to have a female lead, or at least a co-lead. If you haven't noticed, the people who like these movies are 95% male, it's time to expand the horizons here.

5 Unanswered Questions In The Dark Knight Rises

I can totally, and sadly, accept the fact that a new Christopher Nolan Batman movie will not come out. He has stated that, "The Dark Knight Rises is specifically and definitely the end of the Batman story as I wanted to tell it." But what if a sequel happened to be made?

The bottom line is just depressing.

fanpop.com

There were be many questions left unanswered at the end of The Dark Knight Rises that over half of the sequel would have to solve, but would most likely forget. Questions like...

The Many Faces Of Jesus

At times, I find myself asking, who was Jesus? The bible paints us a great picture of what he did in his life, but not so much what he looked like. A person's characteristics can allow us to visualize and become more interested in the stories we hear, but there are so many different 
depictions of Jesus, which one is right?

Black Jesus

As far as I know, the Bible doesn't say anything about Jesus' skin color, so I'll give whoever painted this the benefit of the doubt and points for creativity...but come on, he has dreadlocks for Christ's sake.  

"A crucifix? Awww hell naw."

12 Things Your Server Wants You To Know (So We Don't Hate You) 2.0

Due to the overwhelming positive response to my last Things Your Server whatever article and What Your Server Won't Tell You, I figured I would write another. I could write these for days and days because there are thousands of annoyances that build up in servers that they wish they could scream at their customers, but they can't, so, for now, you're stuck with what is posted on the internet. Here we go...

12. Talk about special requests with your server

Do you want to surprise someone at your table with a birthday song and some cake? Awesome, just don't talk to another server other than your own about it, they don't care and won't ask questions if your directions aren't clear. Now your server is oblivious to what is happening at the table and will look like a jerk when they don't sing a special birthday song.

"They forgot to sing 'Happy Birthday.' Isn't that why we came here?"
This actually happened to me...

Stock Free Images

Dieting For Dummies: How To Not Gain Weight Without Exercise

Do you like how much you weigh? Would you like to keep that weight without having to exercise or change your consumption habits? Well I've got the perfect solution for you!

Who knew that eating unhealthily with no exercise could lead to weight gain? I know I did, but for some reason it never caught up to me...that is, until a year or two ago. My poor consumption and activity habits had caused me to pack on an extra couple, which caused me to develop a method that has worked wonders for me in hindering an increase in my weight, and I bestow them upon you!

Note: Not laboratory tested. Results may vary.

The Horrible Consequences Of Living In A Superhero Universe

It's time to face the unfortunate truth: Superhero movies are here to stay, even if they produce some absolutely appalling ones. With the superhero madness spreading, so many people think that it'd be awesome to live in a superhero universe, as if they are going to be a hero or even meet one, but do they ever really think about the serious consequences of being there? Since most people haven't read the comic books, I'll get my point of, "The horrible consequences of living in a superhero universe," across using movie references.