The Infuriating Problems With Horror Movies

Horror movies can be great fun to watch (see this article why), but there are some things in every one that just piss us off: By adding some vital flaws to the plot, the movie is able to continue with the ignorant characters staying ignorant and the antagonistic characters growing more antagonisticly.  Someday we may see a movie that doesn’t rely on bullspit character actions to keep the movie interesting, but, for now, we are stuck with movies that will just infuriate us.  Let’s look at the list…  

They never look at the footage they wanted to see
This one is written about films similar to the Paranormal Activity series; the films that utilize hand-held cameras filming paranormal activity during the night.

"What's that thing on the wall...eh, screw it, it's probably nothing."

When paranormal shenanigans start happening, the only logical thing to do is to set up some cameras that will capture the activities on film.  In the earlier paranormal activity movies, and other paranormal movies in general, the cameras were just left to run all day and night without any urge to check what was happening.  Despite the family’s living room being torn apart, all the mirrors in the house mysteriously shattering and someone shoving a dead squirrel down the kitchen sink, the family still leaves each event to speculation and bewilderment though the evidence is readily available.  Now, thinking logically again, when paranormal activity happens, wouldn't it make sense to look at the footage?  Not in the movie world, there is a blatant disregard to all technology.

"Hey baby, I bought this really expensive camera that
I'm going to set up and never use again, okay?"

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"Let's split up."
Is this fucking Scooby Doo?  When there are paranormal, undead, or serial killer enemies, there is strength in numbers.  The only movie that has gotten this straight is 300.  Their theory was to stick together and fight as one unit.  

"One band, one sound."

But then again, 300 wasn’t a horror film, so their rationale for dangerous situations wasn’t ridiculous. Plus, the Spartans were from Greece, and we’re Americans, so that pretty much sums up our differences in logic (we’re idiots).

"This Greece? They smart?"

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The theory of splitting up is beneficial for covering ground and searching for clues, which is exactly what caused the downfall in The Cabin in the Woods, but that’s all good when you’re with Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys, not in a horror movie.  Take a look at the Scream guy, he’s the one with the really big mouth so he always looks on the brink of an orgasm.  In each movie, Mr. Scream was a regular guy playing Kill People While Wearing A Mask, not a superhuman killer, so how does he succeed in murdering?  He separates his victims from the group.  Using a basic understanding of fighting, lots of people against one killer should result in killing the killer, but people just forget this logic when fighting to survive.  It’s an abandon-my-friends-in-hope-of-surviving-this-murderous-situation-on-my-own kind of world.

"I'm a one-man killing machine."

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There's always a skeptical friend who doesn't believe the evidence
Will there ever be a time when all characters have some sense of what is going on and believe the evidence that is presented right in front of them?  Nope.  For some reason, the characters always have a deep-seated rivalry, or their personalities don’t match, or there’s some pompous prick in the group that has enough persuasive power to lead certain members of the group into skepticism.

"How can you not believe these murders?  There's a dead body in our living room."

"Nope, don't see it, didn't happen, you're lying."

“Just look into the living room. If you simply turned your head slightly and looked, you would see-,”

“See what? That you just want attention?”

“Well in that case, I wouldn’t worry about the guy standing behind you with a knife.”

“…I’m not giving you the satisfaction.”

"You better watch your ass because here comes the pounding."

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Emotions take over common sense
Intense situations tend to immediately heighten our senses, but in horror films, that ability causes neither fight or flight, but rather crash and burn and go batshit crazy.  Here's a common crash and burn and go batshit crazy situation...

"Ha ha, I shot my friend, I guess I'll shoot myself too. The killer will not get me."

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So you just shot your friend because you mistakenly thought he was one of your antagonists, much like the movie The Strangers; actually, exactly like The Strangers...this situation is from The Strangers.  What's next?  For some reason, the best response is to get angry and stalk through the house trying to find the person trying to kill you.  No, you idiot, lock yourself in a room until morning, especially in slasher films when it’s night time and a murderer with a knife is chasing you throughout the dark house.  If there’s one thing movies have taught us, it’s that all the killing and scary nonsense ends when the sun comes up.

Anything else infuriate you about movies? Comment below and let us know!