Top 6 of 2012

I'm proud of this banner.

Now that 2012 is coming to an end, we can reflect on what has happened this year: we didn't perish in the fires of Mayan Hell, Curiosity lands on Mars, Whitney Houston died (no surprise there), The Black Eyed Peas didn't die, some famous couple got married, and Hollywood finally figured out how to make an acceptable movie.  Here at TBMP, we are going to look at the high points of the year and make you forget about the awful things that have happened, like The Black Eyed Peas I mentioned earlier.

New Writer

School is over and this place has been getting a lot of traffic recently; as a result, I decided I would like to try and grow it some more.  I realize that I have been slacking on posts for a while, so by bringing in another writer, hopefully, this place can get regular posts.  His name is Devon and he will be joining the TBMP team.  So, if the quality starts declining, don't blame me.  We'll let you know who writes what, just so you don't get confused and can pick favorites.

He looks like this; except red hair, no facial hair potential, and wears shirts.

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People We Are Forced To Trust

At some point in our lives we are forced to trust a stranger, it's inevitable.  These are people we must rely on to do certain tasks; like we trust our plumber knows his pipes, our mechanic knows how to fix cars, our barber knows proper cutting techniques, and our banker knows basic math.  These are people who handle minor tasks in our lives, here's a list of people we have to trust with our lives...

Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

Every job has their secrets.  Bankers steal money, mechanics inflate their bills, and plumbers like playing with feces.  Waiters are no different.  The job of a waiter can get redundant and can be very low paying, depending on the night; so we try to make our job as fun and profitable as possible, even if it means showing favoritism and practicing theatricality and psychological deception, both powerful agents to the uninitiated.  Let me reveal some of our darkest thoughts that are hidden behind our charming smiles and devilishly good looks.

I'm like the Masked Magician, except with food service.

We upsell everything, without telling you
Every dollar that gets added onto your bill translates to a larger tip and upselling is the easiest way to do this.  Whenever possible, we will get your bill higher, even if you don't realize it at the time.  Pay attention, clever phrasing will alter your thinking and deceive you into paying extra without knowing you are.

The Great American Telecommunication Standoff

There is nothing worse than the conversation on the phone that goes unnecessarily long just to say, "Meet you in five."  It's just a simple phrase that isn't worth a phone call, so we just text it.

There is nothing worse than getting to a restaurant before the other members of your party because the text that said, "Meet you in five," meant five hours, not five minutes.

Telecommunication is a lose-lose situation, but which form of communication is ultimately better?  Talking or texting?

"How will I make the meeting in five minutes if I'm wearing this damn helmet!"

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Serious Time

I have to get semi-serious for this post, which is going to be tough because I like making jokes too much.  Well, here it goes...

My favorite band is Tool.  No doubt about it.  The sense of awe and enamor while listening is unlike anything else in the music world.  Back in high school, around 2008, I wrote an essay about the lead singer, Maynard James Keenan, and how he impacted this world.  His emotions flood from his lyrics, lyrics that he keeps open for interpretation so we can all experience the music in our own way.

 Yes, this is the musical genius I speak of.

The Least Effective Weapons To Use During A Zombie Apacolypse

I love zombies.  Video games, movies, TV shows, or anything else that has them.  I like it.  I have seen so many things involving the killing of zombies that I have a solid grasp on how to deal with them.  Every time you see someone kill a zombie, they try to make it look as awesome as possible, but what if a real zombie apocalypse were to happen?  What weapons would people grab?  The cool movie ones, of course.

Boxing gloves - Only effective if used by Ivan Drago.
(Dead Rising 2)