Dissecting 2012: The End Of The World

I am a firm believer that the world is going to end in 2012.  There is plenty of evidence all around us, you just have to know where to look.  Signs of impending doom are the Mayan calendar...the...Mayan calendar...well that's pretty much it.  Just kidding, I'm not one of those survivalist disaster people.  Even so, it still baffles me how people can think the world is going to end, so I decided to do some investigating on the subject and get to the bottom of this.  Is it a hoax or an all to real event that will kill us all?  Spoiler alert: It's a hoax.

They are going to look awfully stupid when the world doesn't end and

they spent their life savings on gas masks and toilet paper.

Why Beauty Pageants Are So Great

I'm a guy, so I know a lot about beauty pageants.  You get a bunch of females (ages 1-30) and pick which one is the most popular.  This is done through a series of tests, like a talent show, how straight they can walk and turn, who can wear the most revealing swimsuit, which contestant can answer a question less stupid than the others, and who is fanciest in the fancy clothes.  You know, who is best at the important things in life.

Attractive in a pants suit, great smile, talented politician,

now we just have to fix her famous Hitler wave and we got Miss America.

Life Lessons I Learned From Ghost Hunting School

I live a pretty tame life.  School, homework, sleep, repeat.  Pretty straightforward and not the most interesting thing ever.  That is, until I saw the greatest thing I have ever seen, an Introduction to Ghost Hunting class.  I had to do this.  So I signed up to become a Certified Ghost Hunter and immediately started  learning the ins and outs of ghost hunting.  It was a five week program and I received all the lessons in PDF form.  The class was 20 pages long.

Easily the proudest moment of my life.

In The Spirit of Halloween...

I'm going to talk about scary movies.  Movies, in general, are usually pretty fun to go see.  Though not for everyone, horror movies are especially fun.

You know it's good when it destroys your childhood.

I'm not quite sure what it is about scary movies that make them so fun and no matter how you try and describe the appeal of them, you will always sound like a sadist.  "They are these movies where helpless people are mentally and physically tortured by monsters and supernatural beings.  What's that?  You don't want to be friends anymore?  Yeah, I don't blame you."

Spongebob Squarepants - A Menace In Disguise?

SpongeBob SquarePants.  We all know him, unless you've been living under a rock for the past 13 years.  He is the lovable, pants-wearing, fry-cook, yellow sponge that entertains us with his nonsense and brings joy to children and adults all over the world.  This show provides dumbed-down humor for children, but still slips in the occasional adult joke to keep the parents interested, like SpongeBob warning Gary to not drop the soap in the shower.

He also makes you gay.

But, is SpongeBob actually a menace to children? A study proved that the fast-paced cartoon actually hurts a child's attention and problem-solving skills.  Hurts may be a soft word, the results show that SpongeBob kills the child's skills.  Children watching SpongeBob performed 55% worse than the ones coloring and 20% worse than the children watching Cailou.  I guess it makes sense when SpongeBob is compared to Cailou and coloring pictures that it may negatively impact cognitive abilities, but SpongeBob isn't made to be educational.

A Smuggler of Epic Proportions

Breaking news unearthed a man who has been selling dinosaur fossils illegally to museums and whoever else would want to buy a dinosaur.  Eric Prokopi, a native of Florida, has been charged with illegally importing the fossils to the United States from Mongolia and faces up to 35 years in prison.  His operation has been called a "one-man black market in prehistoric fossils."

Dinosaur bones?  Right next to the AK-47s and kidneys.

If a man went through the trouble of smuggling several full size dinosaurs, mainly a Tarbosaurus (which is the size of a T-rex, which, from my no knowledge of smuggling, is a pretty damn big package size), to another country, I would be more impressed than anything.  Just the fact that he got a hold of a dinosaur is impressive.

I can only assume it looked something like this.

Blog I hate. Blogs I love.

I don't read blogs, I just have one.  While searching for blogs to start reading, I came across three that caught my eye.  Best of Picfoolery, Stuff White People Like, and The Problem with Young People Today Is....  The purpose of this post is to inform you of which blogs are worth reading and which one is almost not even worth mentioning.

I'm going to start with the bad blog.  Sometimes I read something that is so bad that I feel like I have lost knowledge.  I cannot even wrap my head around why this blog exists and why Al Gore hasn't taken it off his Internet yet.  But, I feel like it is my duty to inform people about this blog so they do not make the same mistake I did by reading it.  This sorry excuse of Internet space is the infamous Best of Picfoolery.

Yeah baby, feet are hysterical.
                                                              Picfoolery