Stock photography is a great source for entertainment, so much that I enjoy browsing through the photos for fun. While browsing, I started noticing odd behaviors among the models. These behaviors, though odd, are actually extremely common, for reasons I will never know. Here are some of said behaviors involving women and their treatment of laptops. Before you accuse me of being sexist, these, for some reason, are behaviors unique to women. I have seen exactly zero men doing these activities, so don't complain.
Women enjoy hugging laptops
Don't even try to say that they are just carrying it from point "A" to point "B" because they have both arms around the laptop, like they are hugging a significant other that doesn't hug them enough at home and the laptop is the only way they can get the love they desire. The only reason I can think of for them holding it intimately close to their body is that they are a little chilly; the laptop must release a warmth that is soothing to them. Or, maybe they have a child at home and would like to warm their breasts so the child has warm milk, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't work. Whatever the reason, it's creepy and wrong. They need to find a partner to hug and ditch the inanimate objects.
Women prefer laptops to umbrellas
Pretty much everybody in the world knows that electronics don't mix with water, that's just common sense; even extreme sun exposure is dangerous for them. My question is: why are these women using their laptops as either umbrellas or sun hats? I feel like they don't understand umbrellas and hats cost less than laptops. It's a little disturbing how none of them care about the laptops getting destroyed, they are just full of smiles and a carefree attitude. They need to get their priorities straight and not carelessly wreak a large investment.
Laptops work best in a certain stance
If there's one thing that stock photography women have taught me, it's that I have been using my laptop wrong, very wrong. I always thought it was best to sit down, have the laptop upon my lap and use both hands to use the keyboard, but they disagree. According to the women, the best way to use a laptop is by standing up, holding it with your left arm, and typing with your right hand. This makes perfect sense. No longer do you have to worry about slouching in a chair, because you are standing. No longer do you have to work out, because you're holding a five-pound object. And, no longer do you have to worry about arthritis, because you are standing (if that makes any sense). Since they discovered this awesome stance, I will forgive them for the umbrella thing.
Laptops work best in a certain outfit
If standing in the special upright-hold-laptop-with-left-arm-and-type-with-right-hand stance doesn't quite work out, you can always go with option two: lie on your stomach propped up on your elbows while wearing a spaghetti-strap top. This is for the rebels who look into the eyes of conformity and say, "Screw you. I choose not to stand." By assuming the stomach position, both hands are free to move about the laptop, which doubles your computing speed. As for the spaghetti-strap top, this allows you to utilize your arms to their full potential; the clutches of sleeves shall not limit your mobility anymore. The lie-on-stomach-while-wearing-a-spaghetti-strap-top position is also great for people suffering for myopia, scientific name for "near sightedness," (This blog is both entertaining
and educational.) because you have to sit within two feet of the screen, depending on your arm length. One downside to this position is that it only works for women with shoulder-length or longer hair. Sorry short-haired ladies.
I have found countless examples of these photos, but I didn't want to make this post exhaustively long. Besides the examples above, I also found out that women like to bite their laptops, sit unnecessarily close to the screen, and hold them straight over their head. The things they do with their laptops baffle me. I'll just leave it at that.
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She doesn't conform to the normal laptop behaviors.
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